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Cart #defrag-0 | 2022-04-08 | Code ▽ | Embed ▽ | License: CC4-BY-NC-SA
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(tip for people unfamiliar with PICO-8 controls: the "O" button maps to the following keyboard keys: Z, C, or N)

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG is the industry-leading fantasy defragmenter for the PICO-8.

Read what customers are saying about KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG:

> "It really looks like it's working!"

> "The rectangles were over there and there...but now they are all over there! Amazing!"

> "I can't stop watching. Please send help."

Let's see how the features in KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG stack up when compared with Other Leading Defragmenters:

 
                                KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG     COMPETITORS
Defrags FANTASY DISKS?                     ✓             |       X
Can be run over and over?                  ✓             |       X 
Relaxing Music while you wait?             ✓             |       X 
Screensaver Mode?                          ✓             |       X 
Inuitive One-Button Controls?              ✓             |       X

User Experience First

Other leading defragmenters are designed with function first, giving only a passing thought to USER EXPERIENCE.

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG is revolutionizing the industry by putting user experience first!

KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG is the only PICO-8 defragmenter designed for one sole purpose: to give you the luxuriously satisfying experience of watching a disk be defragmented.

WHAT DOES KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG DO?

  • Removes 100% of fantasy fragments!
  • Makes you feel like you are accomplishing actual work!
  • Meticulously rearranges each file's fragments into a contiguous and sequential mass, leaving your computer�and you!�feeling whole, complete, and at peace!

Never Stops Working

Other leading defragmenters can also defragment, but once they finish running, your files are stuck there at the beginning of the drive, forcing you to wait hours, days, or even weeks until your disk is fragmented enough to defragment again to satisfying results.

Unlike other leading defragmenters which cease to provide the user with an entertaining display of ambulating rectangles once they have finished, KITTENM4STERSOFT DEFRAG creates a new FANTASY DISK each time it is run!

Menu Options

Open the PICO-8 menu (on keyboard, press RETURN or P) to access the following two optional modes:

RELAXING MUSIC

Enjoy the latest in popular music, perfectly paired with the enticing visuals to enhance your meditative experience. DEFRAGMENT YOUR MIND, BODY, AND SOUL!

SCREENSAVER MODE

Activate SCREENSAVER MODE to disable pesky dialog boxes, enabling you to sit back and enjoy an endless supply of fresh fantasy disks get defragmented with no user interaction required!

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9

But can it defragment the tattered remains of my life?

This is the best thing.

The satisfaction after a long defrag.
🥂🍻🍾

Ugh. I'm getting flashbacks to 1991.



1

I love the sh*t outta this. :D
Takes me back to some dark places (like "HOW LONG before I can use my 286 again?!"), but it's all good!

That's pretty impressive.

Although if I were you, I'd put a disclaimer in the post, just in case if something goes awry with the defragmentation, someone can't sue you over it.

Anyway, my machine took only 4 minutes to defrag, probably because ext4 doesn't really fragment.
1

Wow, the first time I ran it, it was like 5% fragmented and took like a minute and a half to finish, I was disappointed. Second time was 51% which was much better.
2

What if an evil genius were to steal your code and write one which fragments your precious fantasy disks and makes the blocks spell rude words? You didn't think about the consequences, now, did you?

Brilliant

Apparently I'm not the only crazy one who stared at the screen while the HDD was defragmenting in the Win95/Win98 days and loving seeing all those blocks getting aligned in sequence...

... good old times of Ctrl+Alt+Del... :P
2

I can't stop watching. Please send help.

Fastest defrag ever. Amazing.

Wow this is much faster than I remember. Well done.
4

Now that PICO-8 has (undocumented) PCM sample playback, the only thing that could make this better is if it made authentic-sounding hard drive sounds.
1

I used to LOVE watching the defrag work back in the early-mid 90s. This comment section has shown me that I'm not alone in this. Thank you for that.

Wow! What are the color meanings? :D
2

@mkukiro

i never did document the colors, did I ? :)

here's a quick go at it:

  • grey = a block in the simulated filesystem (i.e. a piece of a file)
  • dark grey/purple = free space
  • orange = block is finished and won't be touched again
  • bright white = block is a piece of the file that is currently being defragmented
  • bright blue = first block of the file that's currently being defragmented
  • green = reading the block
  • red = writing to the block


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